Partying …in my mind
October 14th, 2009 by JustinYou may have noticed that I have been posting infrequently. The reason for this is four fold. First, I assume that I’m writing to myself and that nobody actually reads my blog (except of course for the bots that spam the comments of my posts, but I don’t consider them to be sentient, so they don’t count). Read the rest of this entry »
Germany Day 0
August 2nd, 2009 by JustinI’ve never been off this continent before, which is surprising considering my mom has lived in Germany for the past year. But over the course of the next two weeks, I plan on rectifying that situation by taking a tour of Europe. Read the rest of this entry »
Why I Hate E-Books: Classical Zombie Edition
June 14th, 2009 by Justin
Don’t laugh, but I read books. I know that’s passé and that none of the cool kids are reading books these days (other than Harry Potter and Twilight, of course). Of course, periodicals are OK, even better if you read them on your phone, but bust out a classic by Jane Austin and prepare to be emasculated, even if you’re a chick.
Breaking: Circuit City Goes Under
April 10th, 2009 by Justin
Every year, full time employees at Circuit City would receive three new shirts. I worked there for four years, though I was not technically full time for that first year, so I only got two shirts then. I also got some other shirts when I was promoted, and again when I began my management training.
In all, I have about 22 Circuit City polo shirts. I’ve just had them in a trashbag in my closet for the last three years, not really wanting to let go of them, but not knowing exactly what to do with them.
I recently organized my closet and added in some more shelf space, and in the process decided that I finally needed to let go of the shirts – they were out of business, if I couldn’t get rid of the shirts now, I would never be able to get rid of them. Read the rest of this entry »
Attention Spans
January 30th, 2009 by Justin
In psychology you learn that attention is a finite resource. There is only a limited amount of attention that any single person can give to any particular stimulus. You can pay a little attention to multiple things or you can give all of your attention to one thing. For instance, right now you are reading this, but not with all of your attention, most likely because you are listening for your boss to walk up behind you and you want to be able to close the browser before they realize you’re reading a site about drunken debacles instead of doing whatever it is you do so that your boss can afford an $85,000 rug in his office.
Surviving Christmas (Parties)
December 9th, 2008 by Doug
It’s that time of year again… Bells are ringing, lights are being hung and thousands are invading the malls, prepared for epic battle, in search of the perfect gift. No, it’s not wedding season… It’s Christmas. And with it comes those perfect occasions we all dread, at least in some small capacity, in the deepest recesses in the pits of our stomachs: The Christmas Party. Be it at home with our relatives or at the office with the co-workers, it’s go time for awkwardness.
You probably thought it couldn’t get much worse than Thanksgiving… But it can… And it will. Family gatherings can be a lot like a bad relationship after you’re out of it… You look back and remember the good parts with complete amnesia about all the bad parts. But then, as soon as you walk back in the door, it all comes flooding back to you. And all of a sudden, you want out. Where’s my jacket? “I think someone has $#!% on the coats!” Office parties aren’t any better. What’s worse than being paid to spend all day with people you can barely stand in the first place? Not being paid to spend a night with people you can barely stand in the first place. You might be thinking right now “No way. I love my family and I have great co-workers.” But deep down, you know it’s true. And so, in the spirit of giving, in this episode I will share with you some tips for surviving those maladroit moments. Read the rest of this entry »
The End of the World as We Know It
November 25th, 2008 by Doug
So, I know what you’re thinking. It’s been a while. And I apologize. Allow me to explain. You see, I’ve been away. Far away. On the other side of the world, in fact. I spent the last year in the Oriental paradise known as South Korea. What can I say? My job takes me crazy places sometimes. And I know what you’re thinking, now. What more interesting to blog about than living abroad? Well, to be honest, the majority of my time there was spent working… not sightseeing. So, I figured I would spare us both the effort and avoid the exercise in futility.
Now, I’ve been trying to decide an appropriate topic for my anticipated return (well… anticipated by one or two people, anyway). There are plenty of blog-worthy topics out there right now just waiting to be expounded upon. But none were grand enough an entrance. Then, finally, it hit me. What better topic for a new beginning… than the end? The end of the world.
Matlock in the Making
July 31st, 2008 by Justin
I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer. At least, my mom has always wanted me to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or an astronaut, or the President. I guess that’s what mom’s do, hope that their children take up amazing professions and make lots of money so that the parents will be taken care of in their old age. Well, I considered being a lawyer, I even took the LSAT, which is the admittance test for law school.
The LSAT, as it tends to do, didn’t even have the common decency to lube up before it had its way with me. It was not a pleasant experience. And yet, I’m still considering going into law school, and I have several friends who agree with that notion. It would fit in well with my current career, but of course, it’s expensive and takes a lot of time.
And why bother going to law school when you can sue somebody without going? You just have to make sure you sue somebody for less than $5000, which is what I’m doing.
Sex and French Toast
June 26th, 2008 by Justin
Have you ever heard a phrase, most likely carelessly juxtaposed, and thought, “that needs to be the title for something – I don’t know what; I don’t know why, but it must be.” A quick Google search tells me that apparently I am unique in this thought.
One would think in the seemingly infinite amount of Simpson’s episodes that Homer would have inexplicably muttered the phrase, though I imagine that “sex”, for the sake of appeasement, would have been replaced with “Mmm” (my book antiqua font doesn’t do the word justice, but pretend it is moaned in a sexy woman’s voice) and French toast with “beer” and you’ll see that, in fact, Homer has been saying this phrase for year – they just haven’t named any episodes after it.
Read the rest of this entry »
I Drink Green Beer on Cinco De Mayo
May 5th, 2008 by Justin
Does that make me unpatriotic?